If all I was focused on was sex, I could produce page after page after page of hot bodies and slick sheets. But I can't. My characters want more than a physical release of pent up tension. The emotional connection is key to their satisfaction.
And that is where the problem lies. Delving into the psyche of a person can really take it out of you. With each of my books, I became as emotionally invested in the situations and progress of the relationships on the page as my characters. Which meant, I was as amped or drained as the heroes and heroines I wrote about. But I do enjoy it.
Harking back to the beginning of this post...see, I always have an ulterior motive (remember that -- ulterior motive)...While the majority of the people populating my imagination are looking for the love of their life and a happily every after, I do have a few who haven't reached the point in their life where they want a relationship. Happily Ever After (HEA) and sometimes even Happily For Now (HFN) aren't even on their radar. All they want is sex. Wild, kinky, wicked sex. A smorgasbord of physical gratification with as many people as possible as often as possible.
This, of course, creates a dilemma of sorts for me -- do I focus only on creating a happy ending for ALL of my characters, thereby forcing the ones who only want sex to accept the HEA/HFN to make myself happy? Or, do I cave and pen the sexual romps and get it out of my...I mean, their systems?
The reason I ask this question is: I'm thinking of taking a few of my scribblings and self-publishing them. It would only be a short or two -- 10,000 to 15,000 words, but I wonder and worry about the readers perception of a story that essentially has no resolution. It would simply be a story of fucking. I'm curious to know readers' opinions on this.
To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, I'm including a snippet from a story:
Living in a construction zone can give a woman ideas best left not acted upon. All those sweating male bodies, taut muscled forms, and snug denims. Is it any wonder a normal, red-blooded woman wouldn’t indulge in a fantasy or four?
Unfortunately, I’m not one of those women who listens to her saner self. I like the thrill of the forbidden, the taste of temptation, and the satiation of desires others tuck away into corners of their minds and only bring out in the darkest of nights.
I make no excuses about enjoying sex. Why should I? Fucking is like breathing for me. Invigorating, stimulating, rejuvenating are all words which come close to describing the sensations, but don’t quite say enough. To be blunt, I love the feel of a hard cock stretching my pussy; the sound of wet flesh sliding in and out, over and against more wet flesh; the scent of sweat and sex that lingers after climax. All of these, to paraphrase Julie Andrews, are my favorite things. Society can go take a hike if it can’t accept me for who and what I am—a woman unafraid to ask for what I want and satisfy needs when I like.
Admittedly, I’ll never be any competition for the women who think thin is in. I like my food just like I like my men—full of flavor, plenty of it, and enough left over for later. I don’t worry about how others view me. When I look in the mirror, I’m happy with my full-figured self. I’ll never wear a size ten again, or a size twelve, but the clothes I wear suit my 38C breasts, full hips and round thighs. While at work I wear my honey blonde, shoulder-length hair in a braid or rolled up and clipped with one of those big alligator type clips. It’s easier that way and tends not to distract me from the records I have to input. Once I get home, though, I let it down. I love the feel of it swishing across the back of my neck, caressing the curve of my shoulders.
Charlie, Travis and Harry are my little secrets. Encounters repeated and enjoyed over the long summer when the apartment building I lived in was being repaired after a frightening fire destroyed half of it. Memories I often relive on those nights when I settle beneath my sheets, sometimes alone, but never lonely.
So, as a reader would a story like this interest you? Knowing there was no HEA/HFN at the end, would you shy away from buying it? Heck, I'm even curious to know if I should change it from first person to third. Let me know. Please.